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Woman to the Next Woman

carmela:

Because I have been treated like a princess, and likewise treated like shit, by men predestined to walk in and out of my life, still, I have never wanted anything other than happiness in whatever they do or desire, regardless how good or bad our relationship might have ended (except one, that bitch). 

So to the next woman in line, here’s something I’d like to share, woman to woman. 

“Your man, my ex man, as you probably know he’s a good man”. But the other side of him, as you might not know yet, could be an ugly man. He’s an asshole, and mind you, I didn’t find him that way, but I kind of made that man that way. So honey, when he introduces that side to you, don’t blame yourself. 

As good of a man he is, it didn’t take much to turn him into an asshole. I made him mad. I made him insane & I made him rude. I made him act a little obnoxious and distasteful. Now he’s a total “douchebag”, yet you will somehow find the oddest reason to still stick with him. ‘Cause even though he’s a bit of an asshole, you will find a whole different person when he’s most vulnerable. 

He won’t treat you like a princess, ‘cause to him you’re nothing less than a queen. He won’t hesitate to take you shopping the next morning after working a 10-hour graveyard shift just ‘cause he knows you’re in need of retail therapy. He will pass up happy hour or Monday football ‘cause you asked him if he can hang those pictures you recently bought from Crate and Barrel & in your opinion, “there’s always next Monday to watch football”. Yes, he bitched about it, but yet, in the end, who wins? You. 

I could sit here & give you 30 minute apology, but here’s a simple, “My bad”. But you know what, he’s going to be good for you. ‘Cause although he’s a bit of an asshole, you will never find another man who will give you the world and more.

It’s hard work, but nobody said it was ever going to be easy, right? Rome wasn’t built in a day, not even two. Only I, of course, thought I shouldn’t have to work that hard, so yes, I’ll admit it, I showed him how to be an asshole, by being one myself. I was the asshole for blatantly not fighting for him. I was the asshole for thinking I am way too good to try. And definitely, I was the asshole for thinking he doesn’t deserve a woman like me.

I might have made him feel unappreciated. I might have wanted way more than he could give. I might have been the one who’s always dissatisfied with the best he could ever offer. I might have been the one to make him feel as if his world should only revolve around me and me, only. I might have been the one to act belligerently that in consequence, to all his intents and purpose, forced him to build these walls and ultimately, his real feelings and emotions are forced to be masked. 

But in the end, yes, he’s an asshole, but not ‘cause he wants to. Just ‘cause I made him feel the need to. And since you’re the next woman in line, woman to woman, appreciate him, love him and adore him, ‘cause behind that mask, the man that just didn’t work quite right for me, is a man who’s going to appreciate, love and adore you a hundred times more. And maybe you, will be a better woman for him than me. So woman to woman, sorry, good luck and thank you.

- Carmela David (2010)

(Inspired by Man to the Next Man by Jozen Cummings) 

because it’s not always the male in the relationship that fucks up. people tend to forget that.